Wolves Among Us: When Trust is Exploited and Faith is Tested

Fawneve Ravenwood
Mar 12
8 min read

The Bible warns us about wolves in sheep’s clothing, but here’s the terrifying part—it’s not talking about the people out in the world.

It’s talking about the ones sitting next to us in church.

The ones leading prayer meetings. The ones serving in ministry. The ones respected and trusted by the congregation.

And that’s what makes church hurt so devastating.

When someone in the world mistreats you, you expect it. But when it happens inside the Church, from someone who claims to be a man of God, it shakes you to your core. It makes you question your faith. It makes you want to walk away altogether.

I know—because I’ve been there.

I’ve seen wolves up close.

And I had to learn the hard way that just because a man calls himself a Christian, doesn’t mean he’s safe.

The First Wolf: When Trust is Exploited

He was a respected leader in the church.

Everyone loved him.

He had a strong reputation, a position of influence, and spoke with authority about faith, business, and leadership.

I had been speaking with him about my business, and one evening, he invited me to meet and go over ideas. I agreed, thinking nothing of it.

I was fasting at the time, so I didn’t want to go to a restaurant. And because he was a supposed fellow Christian, I naively assumed it was a safe situation to be in alone.

I never once thought to question if I should be there.

Because why would I?

This was a man of God.

I walked into that house believing I was stepping into a place of wisdom, fellowship, and safety.

Instead, I walked into the lair of a wolf.

From Business to Betrayal

At first, everything seemed normal. We talked, discussed ideas, and everything felt professional.

Then, he offered to show me around the house.

I still didn’t sense danger.

I followed him as he led me from room to room. And when we entered his children's bedroom, I assumed he was simply sharing a piece of his life with me.

But suddenly, everything shifted.

In an instant, he spun me around.

Before I even knew what was happening, he kissed me—in his children’s bedroom!

My heart started racing.

I didn’t know what was happening.

I didn’t understand how things had changed so quickly, why he was looking at me that way, why this moment—this room—was where he decided to turn something innocent into something intimate.

And before I knew it—we were in his room and he was on top of me.

I heard the voice of God, clear as day:

"Flee also youthful lusts..."(2 Timothy 2:22, NKJV)

But I froze.

I was paralyzed with fear.

No one knew where I was. No one knew I had come. I was alone. And he was bigger and stronger than me.

I didn’t know if saying no would make things worse.

So I did what so many women do in that moment—I stayed silent.

I let it happen.

Because in that moment, silence felt safer than resistance.

What I Learned About God's Warnings

For a long time, I wrestled with guilt and confusion.

I had heard God’s voice. I knew what I was supposed to do. But I didn’t run.

And for a while, I blamed myself.

But what I’ve learned since then is this:

When God gives us a command, He also provides a way out.

If He tells us to flee, He will protect us as we do it.

That moment in my life taught me that God’s voice is not just a suggestion—it’s a lifeline.

When He warns you, trust Him.

Because the truth is, wolves don’t stop hunting.

And if you don’t recognize the first one, the next one will be worse.

The Next Wolf: When Love is a Lie and Marriage is a Trap

The first wolf softened me up.

So when the next one came—the one who quoted Scripture, who seemed like a strong man of faith, who knew exactly what to say—I ignored the red flags.

Because deception doesn’t feel like deception when it’s happening.

It feels like answered prayer!

And this one? He felt like the greatest blessing I had ever received.

This wasn’t some random man—I had known him for years.

I had quietly admired him from a distance. I had a crush on him for so long, never thinking he would ever notice me.

So when he finally reached out, when he chose me—I felt like I had won the lottery.

I thought, Finally! He sees me!

And that was all it took.

It didn’t matter that there were things I knew about him and the way he was living his life, that wasn't ok. It didn’t matter that I had gotten specific warnings. It didn’t matter that my spirit didn’t fully feel at peace.

Because my emotions had already decided for me.

He wanted me.

And I let that be enough.

The Isolation and Control Began Slowly

I was already an isolated introvert, so it didn’t take much for him to completely pull me away from everyone else.

I didn’t even notice it happening.

At first, it felt like love. He wanted me all to himself. He wanted to protect me. He wanted to be my covering.

But then the “protection” became control.

The covering became confinement.

And before I knew it, my world had shrunk—until the only thing left in it was him.

And I held on.

Because I believed the lie.

The lie that we were meant to be. That this was God-ordained. That he was my “kingdom spouse.” That if I just prayed harder, if I just loved him more, if I just held on long enough—God would heal this.

But here’s the truth:

There is a difference between what God puts together and what we put together.

And God did not put this together.

Narcissistic Abuse, Deception, and Betrayal

Eventually, things got bad enough that we separated. Not because I wanted to leave—because I was still clinging to the illusion that we could make it work. We agreed to take time apart, to work on ourselves so that we could come back together stronger.

And during that time, I was torn and unsure if we would find our way back to each other. I had moments I wanted to let go but then he would be promising me love.

Still feeding me words that kept my hope alive.

Still telling me he wanted me, that he was fighting for us, that he loved me.

And all the while?

He was lying.

Because that’s what wolves do.

While he was speaking love over me, he was having an affair. While I was waiting for him, while I was holding on to the hope of restoration, he moved in with her.

And yet, he kept telling me he loved me.

Until one day, he stopped pretending.

One day, he realized that he was happy living in sin.

That the drinking, the drugs, and the women were fun.

And he decided he didn’t need to hide it anymore.

He had never changed. He never wanted to.

He was a covert narcissist, the kind that looks harmless on the surface, but turns violent when he drinks.

And I know that because I lived through it.

Through the nights of fear.

Through the moments when his anger turned into violence.

Through the bruises, the broken bones, the blood shed.

Through the shame of waking up every day still believing he was the man I thought he was.

Still believing he could change.

When It Was Over, I Was Left With Nothing

I wasn’t just heartbroken—I was homeless.

I had lost everything.

I was living in my car.

And as if surviving one wolf wasn’t enough, another tried to come in for the kill.

The Final Wolf: The Pastor’s Indecent Proposal

While I was in this season of trusting in God fully, a pastor friend reached out and offered to help. He had a place I could stay. But only if I pretended to be his wife!!

Let that sink in!

A pastor saw a woman in need and instead of helping, he tried to exploit me.

This is why we cannot afford to be naive.

How to Recognize & Defeat the Wolves Among Us

How Do We Discern a Wolf?

Some of you might be wondering, But how do I know if someone is a wolf?

The Bible makes it crystal clear:

Matthew 7:16 (NKJV):"You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles?"

Wolves can only pretend for so long. Eventually, their fruit will expose them. Pay attention to:

Manipulation – Twisting Scripture for personal gain.
False humility – Acting righteous but living sinfully.
Control and domination – Using fear to keep people in bondage.
Sexual sin – Wolves often use “spiritual” excuses to justify lust.

And this is where the spirit of lust comes in.

The Spirit of Lust is Rampant in the Church

One of the greatest sources of church hurt comes from men who use their position and power to seduce, manipulate, and spiritually abuse woman.

I have heard of church leaders telling women that sleeping with them would “help them heal”

I have seen narcissists AND pastors twist the convent of marriage, claiming that you are “married in the eyes of God” while living in sin so you don't actually need to get married.

I have spoken to men who use spiritual language to justify their perversion, and weaponize the bible.

And all of it goes back to one thing: the spirit of lust operating inside the Church.

But the Bible is clear:

1 Corinthians 6:18 (NKJV):"Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body."

We are not called to entertain this spirit. We are called to run from it.

If you have been hurt by one of these wolves, I want to tell you something:

That was NOT God. That was NOT the true Church. That was a counterfeit!

Do not let a wolf convince you to abandon the true Shepherd.

What Should We Do?

Now that we know the truth—how do we respond?

1. Stay Rooted in Christ, Not Man

Your faith is in Jesus—not a pastor, not a church, not a title.

Hebrews 12:2 (NKJV):"Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith."

Men will fail. Wolves will deceive. But Jesus never changes.

2. Test Every Spirit

Don’t believe something just because someone holds a title. Look at their fruit.

1 John 4:1 (NKJV):"Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world."

3. Expose Darkness

Wolves thrive in secrecy. They rely on silence. But we are called to bring darkness into the light.

Ephesians 5:11 (NKJV):"And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them."

If you have been abused, manipulated, or deceived—speak out!

4. Guard Your Heart

Wolves study their prey. They know exactly how to deceive and manipulate. Be wise.

Proverbs 4:23 (NKJV):"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life."

Final Word: Do Not Let Wolves Drive You Away from God

If you have been hurt by the Church, by a pastor, by someone who claimed to be a man of God—please hear me:

That was NOT Jesus. That was NOT a reflection of the true body of Christ. That was a wolf.

The enemy would love for you to walk away from your faith because of what a wolf did.

He wants you to blame God for what man has done.

But Jesus is still your refuge. He is still your defender.

John 10:11 (NKJV):"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep."

Wolves are real. Church hurt is real.

But the Shepherd is greater.

Stay in the Word. Stay in discernment. Stay close to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

Wolves may roam, but they will never have power over those who belong to Jesus.

So stand firm. Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. And walk in the freedom God has given you.

You are not alone. You are not defeated. And no wolf can ever take you from the hands of the Good Shepherd.